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7 ridiculous ways to stop your phone being stolen

AndroidPIT privacy 3
© nextpit

Phone theft is an all too common occurrence. Think about it: every second, millions of us are walking around with these expensive devices in full view. Imagine if the same number of us were walking around with US$500 in our open palms. It’s almost the same thing.

stolen smartphone
Here are our top tips for preventing phone theft. / © ANDROIDPIT

So, to try to address the phone-snatching epidemic, I have some advice. Here are seven totally legit and not at all tongue-in-cheek suggestions on how to prevent someone from stealing your phone.

1. Look like a thug

One of the best preventative measures for phone theft is to wear a tracksuit and a cap. Couple this with standing near a bus stop drinking cider with your pals, and your chances of having your phone stolen are considerably reduced. Nobody wants to steal a phone from someone who looks like a phone thief. Unless you’re a Robin Hood type, but they’re few and far between. They really are.

AndroidPIT privacy 3
Choice of hat may increase or decrease chances of success. / © ANDROIDPIT

2. Buy a rubbish phone

Sony can’t give the Xperia Z3+ away and you’d have more chance of someone trying to slip the HTC One M9 into your pocket than trying to remove it without you noticing. A sure-fire way to protect your phone from theft is to buy one of those crap ones that nobody wants.

androidpit HTC One A9 2
Beware: some rubbish phones look like iPhones. This will increase chances of theft. / © ANDROIDPIT

3. Say aloud that your phone is broken

Who would steal a broken phone? Phone thieves generally aren’t interested in parts, they just want to make a quick buck. It's harder for them to sell a broken handset, so this acts as a strong deterrent. 

broken smartphone hero
You don't have to break your phone, just pretend it's broken. / © ANDROIDPIT

4. Leave your phone in its packaging at the store

Basically, the fewer phones you own, the fewer phones you're likely to have stolen. 

5. Buy a phone with a stylus

There is method to this madness. Buy a phone with a stylus, and when someone sees you using it, they might think it’s just a notepad. Pretend it is a notepad and you’re golden.

androidpit lg g stylo hero image
If you buy a phone that's both crap and comes with a stylus, it's a double victory in the fight against theft. / © Boost Mobile

6. Use a black phone at night, and a white phone in the snow

There is a reason that jungle camouflage is so effective in the jungle. You have to blend to your surroundings. If you're sitting on the grass with a green phone it will be barely visible to passing thieves. 

androidpit nexus 5 hero image 08
If we put the charcoal Nexus on the grey surface it would become almost invisible. / © ANDROIDPIT

7. Be more careful

This one's a genuine suggestion. If you really want to reduce the chances of having your phone stolen, you simply need to be more careful. A mobile theft study in 2014 revealed that 44 percent of stolen phones were left in a public place, while only 11 percent were pickpocketed.

It’s so easy to leave a phone on a table, so always return your phone to a pocket or bag when you are finished using it. Also, don’t show the world that you have a brand new Galaxy S6. Hold it firmly when you’re using it, cover it with your other hand when in public places. Don't use it when you're alone in the early hours of the morning on a council estate. 

Smartphones are incredibly personal and are worth much more to us than their actual cost. Anybody who has lost a phone will tell you: it’s losing the contents of the phone that is most upsetting, not the thought of buying a new one.

Do you have any tips for preventing phone theft? Let us know in the comments. 

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Scott Adam Gordon

Scott Adam Gordon

Originally from the UK, Scott graduated in Popular Music Studies at Newcastle University and attributes much of his success there to his beloved Samsung Galaxy S2. His current aim is to write cool things about Android. And he loves it.

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  • Ronnie Pibaque Nov 10, 2015 Link to comment

    But if the title given " ridiculous ways " that offend so drafted it gives grace actually complain that offend the reader but what kind of reader not you read That look dice

  • Mark Richfield Nov 10, 2015 Link to comment

    I'm sorry but your articles on the average are so value-less. As noted by some others, I can't tell if this is a joke or if the writer is serious. Please add something of value when writing. Also calling certain phones crap may be funny to since but is unnecessarily unprofessional and offensive.

  • 46
    Deactivated Account Nov 7, 2015 Link to comment

    Here in the Philippines, lots of people have two phones a cheap one for using in public and a good one for use where they are safe. Phone snatching is epidemic here. I wish they still put the lanyard hole on phones so you can attach the to you. One of the things I like about my S3 nobody wants to steal it anymore. Even when I buy a new phone I will keep it for going out.

  • PlanetJeffy Nov 7, 2015 Link to comment

    Cracked screen wallpaper?

  • Sunny Ost Nov 7, 2015 Link to comment

    What about a "I will get you" wallpaper?

  • Mike Herman Nov 7, 2015 Link to comment

    I'm thinking of buying white for snow and black for the night time ;) it's so revealing! ..what about yellow for sunny days?

  • Mike Nov 7, 2015 Link to comment

    I can't tell you how many times I've been to the gym or a restaurant or another public place, and watch people walk away for a few minutes and leave their phone unattended. How about using common sense!

  • Reza Afsari Nov 7, 2015 Link to comment

    Can't tell if you are trying to be funny or come up with the most stupid, ineffective metods to dodge phone theft?

  • Guido Lindenstock Nov 7, 2015 Link to comment

    Very funny especially the one to leave the phone in his package at the store 😂

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